I think I wrote the best paper ever last Wednesday. I didn't turn it in until today, but even as I was writing it I thought "Damn is this good!" and turns out I was right. I went to meet with my professor today. We were supposed to have fifteen minute interviews with him and he was supposed to read our papers so we could turn in the corrected versions tomorrow before break. I went in after waiting for a few moments, he read my paper, and I was out of there in TWO MINUTES!!!! But that. T...

I am listening to Comfortably Numb. I was looking at the screen for a moment, just feeling the song to see where it would take me, and where it took me for only a second was such a painful memory that my sight became fuzzy and I was dizzy to the point of passing out. And just as I typed that above it hit again. It's the pain of the memory. It hurts sooo much that I am just, just freaking out!!!! I actually like feeling like my body is just messed up and disconnected and that my head...

Guess who's bizack!!!! J/K I might not really be back, maybe I'm just visiting. Anyway. As for the title of this article. Hey asshole if you're reading this like you say you do, you left your fucking Concrete Blonde CD in my car. And as much as I like Concrete Blonde every time I look at that CD I think of you and thinking of you kinda makes me wanna gag myself with a spoon. Come to think of it, why haven't I just destroyed the CD? I mean, it's not like you're ever going to get it b...

Ok, so my telephone is a complete POS. Its battery went dead this weekend when I was home, so I put it on the charger and after about two minutes it started ringing to alert me that I had some new voice messages. Well I waited for a while before I listened to them so the phone wouldn't go dead on me, and then I deleted them. Well fucking shit phone still kept ringing. At first it was every five minutes or so, and then there were a few ten minutes pauses, and then the shit hit the fan. Fuck...

Anyone who reads my blogs realizes that I have a big problem with changing. I mean, I thought I had changed from the person I was before I started college, and that made me very unhappy. But, this weekend, I realized that I am still an emotional vampire. I choose not to explain this, because it makes me out as a bad person, which I am. But I don't feel like explaining exactly what the emotional vampire means. I was so excited to find that deep down inside I really haven't, even if ma...

I just can't seem to shake these blues. I have times of happiness, no doubt, but... I still get down. I don't like it. I'm trying to regulate my zoloft-taking, because I am a big dumb head who constantly forgets to take it, and if I don't take it the results are VERY BAD!!! I should be happy!!! I have a BUNCH of alcohol in my fridge. Three bottles of wine (albeit one is small), a bottle of Raz, Raspberry schnapps, and then a six pack of smirnoff triple black and amaretto, but the la...

Well good afternoon all. It's 3:41 on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, I don't think there's a cloud in sight, 48 degrees with a chance of rain tonight. In summary, there shouldn't be any reason to complain. Except for that I got three hours of sleep last night. It's not my fault, either. I didn't consume any caffeine yesterday. I only had one meal-spaghetti for dinner-and I had a few cheese nips later on. I had to write a paper, and my damn attention was just OFF, so it took me about three hour...

I haven’t seen much in life. I’ve never seen the starving African kids begging for food and money like they do on TV. I’ve never seen the Spanish sunset. I’ve never looked into my husband’s eyes and seen his love staring back at me. I’m not even married. Hell, I’m hardly out of high school. But I have seen a lot. I’ve seen two of my best friends’ lips gray and cold in the velvet cushions of a coffin. I’ve seen my sister snort more blow than you thought was humanly possible. I’ve seen t...

This is the only way I have of contacting you, once again. I don't know how long it will take you to respond, or to read this, but I feel like you will read it at some point or other. I miss you. I don't care what I think anymore. I wish I could talk to you, I wish you would call me, I wish I knew your real number but I would never call you, never in a million years. It was so long since I heard your voice, and now I haven't, and I'm lonely. And I don't care what anyone else says. I m...

I am headed for a complete emotional collapse. I mean it. It's imminent. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all of this surrounding me. I mean, it would be better if I could turn my head off for a while to not think about Matt, but there he is all over the TV, newspapers, everyone's SNs, and I really can't. And then there's the bitch... Years and years of physical and emotional mistreatment... That don't get wiped away like that... There was never any love. She was never nice to m...

Sometimes I feel utterly and completely alone in this world. That's a really sad-sounding comment, I know, but I'm not sad... Being sad and being alone are two different feelings, and right now, I don't feel sad, just alone, confused, and lost. The problem is, I don't really feel like I fit in in this world. It's not that I don't have friends, because I do, and they're wonderful caring etc. It's also not that I'm a loser or anything (yes you can have be a loser and still have friends). I...

So it's like, sometimes I feel like I have to challenge my self and sanity to the utmost. It's almost like, I'm torturing myself, for God knows what reasons. And yet I'm still gonna do it. So here's the story: My aunt's father died, and as his funeral is over my spring break, I'm going with my mother and grandparents to his funeral in Cottage Grove next Monday. I don't remember him at all, since I suppose the last time I saw him was when I was a small babe, or so my mum tells me. But...