So I'm really quite drunk right now. I just walked into my room and listended to a new messsage on my answering machine that was totally bizarre, but I dont feel connected to it in the least bit. The person who sent the message was some random guy. I mean, I heard his voice and everything but I'm willing to bet that i've never heard that voice before. Besides, I would have to say probably... three people out of everyone in the world (not affiliated to the U of MN) know my number, and thats...

MY NAME IS AANNNNNNNEEEE!!!!!! Okay. that was me copying a Jay-Z song. So here I am a year almost after starting here, writing after a long nice hiatus! Still drinkin, still havin issues, still smokin pot but damn does it feel good!! So either Love Me Or Leave Me Alone! ~Tweekz

I just pulled an all nighter with a almost complete stranger. I've met him once before, for about two minutes, and that's all. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pull an all nighter with someone you're unfamiliar with? That's just something you don't do, you know? How can you handle being with someone for almost TWELVE STRAIGHT HOURS! when you don't know anything about them? What about the awkward silences? Running out of things to talk about? No sexual anything! Well I'll tell you one...

I had to smoke weed. I feel bad, I was planning on saving it. I took some "uppers" today but since my stomach is basically empty (except for some coffee and cookies at 9:30) and it is now 2:37. It's amazing that I'm here in Morris for little more than two weeks and I've already forgotten how to control my stomach. But I reinforced my control again. But then my stomach started hurting because of the pills and the lack of anything in the stomach and it occurred to me that I would have t...

I have these days of incredible strength, where I don't think about him, don't consider why I'm dreaming about him, even forget he's alive. Then there are the other days when the memory of him is heavier than a stone. It's a big ball of lead deposited in my heart, and I can feel it dragging down in my chest. Something like asthma. On my deathbed I will pray To the gods and the angels Like a pagan to anyone Who will take me to heaven To a place I recall I was there so long ago ...

Sounds like a negative title but it's not. Anyways, it's good to laugh at yourself, isn't it? I'm supposed to be walking to Dairy Queen right now with Rachel (actually, by this time we'd probably already be back here) but she is about 45 minutes late after I called her. So here I am blogging. I have obviously not had any time to blog lately. That's because A) I'm at home and dont have 24 hr internet access and my dad is fucking ridiculously addicted to the internet and is on it fro...

I think I drink too much. Sometimes I tell myself, Jesus you're an alcoholic. Then, I defend myself: I'm not an alcoholic, I just drink too much. I don't even waste time saying "I drink a little bit" or anything like that. And I don't even know if I NEED it, I mean, I KNOW I don't but I don't know if I'm addicted, I just can't stop. I have no control over myself. Even last night, I didn't even want to go out. I don't know why I did... I shouldn't have. I didn't party, we just drank. And I ...

Last night was wild. We got really drunk, me and some friends, and it was all a good time!!! Well, for the most part, at least. Mine and my best friend's "neighbor" (cute kid ) got us some weed and it was all good. I have a place to move, too. If I want to. It's 225 a month, and in Carlton. I haven't decided yet, but it would be cool. Anyhow. On to the life lesson I learned last night. We were all drunk, and I was in the backseat of Shan's Camaro, pretty near passed out, when I heard h...

The more people complain to me the more I realize how much my life has sucked. In fact, it's not just people complaining to me. It's people complaining period. I mean, try living your entire life with someone who hates your guts and just wants you to fucking die. Try living with someone who does everything possible to make you feel as low as you possibly can. Can and does. I'm taking shots right now. The sting of alcohol down my throat is the only thing that reminds me I'm alive. It'...

There is something seriously wrong with me. Of course, we've been through this about a million times before. It's just, I'm not getting better. Blame it on the fact that I haven't taken my zoloft for a little less than a week. Maybe it's been more. Blame it on whatever you want to, actually. I don't much care. All I know is I am starting to get desperate. Desperate to get out of... here. My life and my self. I've got two serious choices now and I am ready to make either of th...

[I was reading an article by Unfairman and I liked it a lot. I wrote a great reply to it, and I decided I liked the reply so much that I would repost it as an article. It shows my superb wit and my weird, weird mind. Read on!] You wanna know something? Those Penny Donation things make me mad. Hear me out, though. They make me mad for a very good reason. One day when I was very stoned, I went to the local pizza place with my friend, and I was standing in front of said Penn...

This is the second part of my "desperation blog" (AKA I'm Running Away). This is the questions and the answers, hopefully. Where will I go? I don't know. I know that I cannot go home. And home is more than just lil ol' Moose Lake... Home is Duluth, Cloquet, Cromwell (especially). These are the places that I cannot go, the places that I must leave behind me in order to get ahead . So where shall I go? Who knows. And how am I going to do it? I can't do it without money, th...

It hit me like a freight train today. I'm moving home in less than a week. School will be over. My friends and I will be scattered about the midwest. I'm moving home on Friday, and will be stuck there for the rest of the summer. I'll have to work all the time. I'm moving home. Holy fuck. I don't want to go home. I don't want to be there. I don't want to live with my parents. I don't want to have to answer to someone. I don't want to do any of that. And I really don't want to be in...

I am supposed to find a poetic (or not poetic) song for extra credit in my lit class. This sounds like the easiest assignment in the world, if you are not a poetic genius/freak. I listen to songs for A) their musical quality and their lyrical quality. Of course, the songs I pick for lit are based solely on their lyrical content, and the music doesn't come into play at all. That, of course, annoys me. I have many songs that I find awesomely amazing, because of both their poetry and the...