There is something seriously wrong with me. Of course, we've been through this about a million times before. It's just, I'm not getting better. Blame it on the fact that I haven't taken my zoloft for a little less than a week. Maybe it's been more. Blame it on whatever you want to, actually. I don't much care. All I know is I am starting to get desperate. Desperate to get out of... here. My life and my self. I've got two serious choices now and I am ready to make either of th...

[I was reading an article by Unfairman and I liked it a lot. I wrote a great reply to it, and I decided I liked the reply so much that I would repost it as an article. It shows my superb wit and my weird, weird mind. Read on!] You wanna know something? Those Penny Donation things make me mad. Hear me out, though. They make me mad for a very good reason. One day when I was very stoned, I went to the local pizza place with my friend, and I was standing in front of said Penn...

This is the second part of my "desperation blog" (AKA I'm Running Away). This is the questions and the answers, hopefully. Where will I go? I don't know. I know that I cannot go home. And home is more than just lil ol' Moose Lake... Home is Duluth, Cloquet, Cromwell (especially). These are the places that I cannot go, the places that I must leave behind me in order to get ahead . So where shall I go? Who knows. And how am I going to do it? I can't do it without money, th...

It hit me like a freight train today. I'm moving home in less than a week. School will be over. My friends and I will be scattered about the midwest. I'm moving home on Friday, and will be stuck there for the rest of the summer. I'll have to work all the time. I'm moving home. Holy fuck. I don't want to go home. I don't want to be there. I don't want to live with my parents. I don't want to have to answer to someone. I don't want to do any of that. And I really don't want to be in...

Today's one of those days when I want to hang that Happy Bunny sign outside my door. I don't need to, though, because no one visits me. I'm actually glad of that right now. I don't need to use any of my limited energy to go to the damn door and pick up that damn sign and hang it up. Thank God. I just don't want to talk to anyone today. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to hear anyone's voice, except for the voices that are singing on my iTunes and realplayer. No one else. No t...

Tonight I'm not going to drink. It will be the second night in two weeks. It's a good idea. I felt like SHIT this morning when I woke up. Well, that's a lie, I didn't wake up until about 1:15. But I felt like shit. Maybe even beyond just "shit." I mean, I was freaking DEPRESSED. It was scary. Like, masochistic-depressed. That's not good. But, around two-thirty, something changed and I feel great. Cold, but great. I'm trying to listen to really happy/hyper songs and continue being ...

I well I have a problem!! My thumb... well, it's pretty stoned. We celebrated for 4-20 but well you know there's somthing wrong with the head on my thumb. It thinks it wants to break itself. Oh it's making me mad, it's bending soooo wrong! Thumbs ain't supposed to bend that way. But my mind is trying to control it's movents.... So it's not breaking, but it's trying so damn hard!!! I'm having a problem typing with these findger s right now. I'm deleteing a lot of mistakes, but this o...

I'm back at school finally. I don't want to be here. I'm lonely, and my closest friends, the ones I hang out with all the time, are dating, well, each other. It's not bad at all, I just get lonely sometimes. Maybe I'm jealous that I don't have anyone to hang out with anymore. That sucks. I feel just overall kind of down. I'm gonna take my zoloft in a minute... But that's not it. It's everything else, you know? I mean, it's boys. It's the situation that's going on with my family. It's...

If you were a superhero, what would you be called? I don't know what I'd be called. It's hard thinking of things like that! Maybe Emotiono. Or Wild Woman. I kind of like Emotiono better though What kind of names do y'all have? Are there any GlueStick Men? Or Paper Clippers? Maybe I would be Cotton Candy Girl. But that's pretty lame... I'd probably be "Pink Princess" or something stupid like that. I'm always wearing pink. I wish my name was Ivanna Humpalotte. That would be cool. ...

Today when I realized how very fucked up my life has become I laughed. I laughed out loud. I like that I can find humor in the wreckage around me. I wonder when the rushing will leave my ears... Years have gone by and FINALLY I have choked on my tears till there is nothing left. Which, coincidentally, is true. Despite the fact that I desperately hate the position I am in right now, I am going to sit it out and see what all happens. This is too interesting for me to miss. If only...

I am hungry, but I don't know if my stomach is stable enough to let me eat. So I have developed the "puke test" based on what happened to me earlier this morning. I was reading Ernest Hemingway and couldn't handle it, because it was all about alcohol and knew if I read even a word more I would puke. So I've decided if I can handle reading Hemingway's alcohol talk without puking, I should be able to eat some fricking crackers. I AM TIRED OF BEING SICK! I slept since 9:30 or so th...

One weekend during high school my friend J and Mo and I went shopping in Duluth. It was near Christmas and we were all stoned. We went to some store (Walmart, I think, but for some reason I want to say we went to the cloquet Walmart next, so I'm not too sure where trhe locations were.) and we were looking at shiny christmas decorations and J grunted really creepily and loudly at a particularly shiny ornament, and then told stoned me that that was her love sound, that the sound she made whe...

Reason Number One: The song Angie. TJ sang that song to me the night he broke my heart, only he changed the name to Anne (pronounced Annie, a nickname that my boys used to call me ). I was too drunk to know the words, and when I looked them up the next day I cried for I don't know how long. "Anne you're beautiful, ain't it time we said goodbye? Angie, I still love you, remember all those nights we cried?" Well if that wasn't devastating enough, coming at the time that it did with th...

So it's somewhere around official moving day for me. I of course cannot stay in my apartment until Sunday when my mum brings my furniture down to Morris and then I have a bed. I of course have only packed two boxes here so far: one has half of my clothes (the stuff that is either seasonal or not worn often) and the other one has my movies and some odds and ends. Nothing important has been packed. Nothing important has happened at all... It doesn't look like I'm moving, it just looks like I'm ...