Song lyrics going through my head: "Only God says jump So I set the time 'Cause if he ever saw it It was through these eyes of mine! And if he ever suffered it was me who did his crying" "it's better to burn out than to fade away" "cause i can't live with or without you" Doing: three or four things at once--writing this blog, writing a paper that's due at 2:30, i think, or 1:30 anyhow and i'm skipping a class to finish it, smoking a oney, and listening to a playlist. Playl...

Not too tired without you. gotta be up in three and a half hours. Should go by pretty quickly, shouldn't it? I don't know what the hell to do. I've been something like an emotional recluse today, don't know why, everybody noticed it but it just made me want to cry. Why all this crazy almost crying shit? Perhaps because I feel I am alone, especially, right now. It's so disappointing not being able to reach out to ANYONE. I wish there was someone for me to talk to, but I'm a pretty emoti...

Kris and I are moving in to our appartement very soon. C'est un appartement unmeuble. We don't have to pay until December but we can fucking MOVE IN SOON!!! Like, before Thanksgiving. He has to shampoo the carpets and get some things put together like the blinds and then our home is ready to be lived in!!!! I am overly happy for this. It's wonderful on so many levels. No more dorm room, no more hiding smoking weed, no more smoking outside (shit, i would almost rather quit than freeze my f...

Not a big one. Pretty sure.

I am left with a hand full of ash And a memory of the kisses And a stomach ache I will not call you I will not try to speak to any of you If I see you anywhere I will not forgive you yet Someday I might I will not cry I will not show emotion Except I will laugh And lose inside I will not have the upper hand It's all yours, I accept defeat I will not cry, not yet Someday I might I still hold my head up I still open my eyes But no one can look inside I won't let you i...

I had a great weekend. My best friend since like kindergarten came to see me at school and we had a great time. I got sick but it didn't reflect poorly on my weekend at all. I miss Shannon, though It was kind of like I had a best friend as a roommate and it was very cool, and now I want a roommate. Kris and I are totally going to get the apartment we want, i just know it!! As long as it is still cheap, of course. I'm a little bit depressed. Have been more or less this afternoon, an...

I've been pretty nasty these past few days on here, and I feel bad because it's pretty out of character for me. I try to stay away from political issues on this because my ineloquent language tends to get me into trouble (that doesn't explain these past few days, these past few days I've just been an asshole clear and simple). My eyes were closed in pain and I forgot to open them and realize the rest of the world has their own pains, too. At least as far as I guess. Does anyone know someone w...

Being an angry and bitter person usually takes up most of my time. I know I'm angry and bitter and I embrace it. I know I push people away and luckily I have friends who are understanding of that and have experienced it, and they put up with it. I'm lucky I have friends that put up with it. Most people will allow me to push them away. I wonder who I appreciate more... the people who don't understand what I'm trying to do and therefore don't resist, or the people who know what I'm doing an...

I'm going to write another intelligent hate blog for everyone to comment on. Hahahaha that was really funny for me I wonder if people will respond to this, as I had no idea any one would to my last. Maybe I should throw out some words like fuck, and shit, and damn fat heads so that people will think I'm trying to intelligently argue for my own politcal party. If I say I'm a feminist, how are people going to react? "Women aren't discriminated against anymore today. Your fight is over....

I'm young, I'm a female, I'm a minority, I'm not a Christian, and I have gay friends. I've been raped, I've been discriminated against racially, and I've been treated like shit for being a woman. Of course I'm a flaming liberal, how couldn't I be? And I also don't understand how anyone cannot be. How can you think that anyone has the right to make a decision for an entire group of people without giving them any say at all? How can you say that gay marriage should be illegal until after ...

Lol, I have to laugh at my title. I have decided today that I am JoeUser's least-read blogger, and I've also decided that that deserves some sort of recognition, so there it is! Were this a prestigious award, my acceptance speech would go something like: "dear non-friends and non-enemies who have awarded me with the distinguished title of 'JoeUser's Most Unread Blogger', I am quite proud of my achievements and completely intend on keeping on doing what I've been doing all along... I...

A friend of mine and I are talking right now. I am near tears. I can't really explain it. I'm being ridiculously honest with him. He's liked me forever. I don't know what my problem is. I guess I am just reaching out, and wanting to, but not knowing how. Well, it's late, I'm sure everyone is tired... ~A.

I realized tonight that the Beach Boys are a great stoner band. I mean, they just sound so great when you're baked... Particularily the song "Free Flows". I am so serious, nothing has sounded better to my ears while stoned before, except for maybe the really hard industrial beats on that DJ Irene CD when it sounds like a freight train. That blows my mind, too. I guess this means Brian Wilson is a freaking genius, huh. Of course he is. I've been doing the musical genius worshipping these la...

I miss Wesley sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very much. Soooooo incredibly much! Just had to remark on that. Wherever you are, Wesley, I miss you!

I had a pretty good weekend. I left this morning with the sunrise. I haven't seen the sunrise in a few years now and it's pretty much the only thing I miss about big time partying. I guess I miss that about dating too. Joe spent the night Friday night. Nothing to report, i probably snored or something totally embarrassing like that. He's a good guy. I'm considering another guy that I have already been interested in for a few weeks now, and I'm pretty sure he's interested in me. I ha...