I am left with a hand full of ash
And a memory of the kisses
And a stomach ache
I will not call you
I will not try to speak to any of you
If I see you anywhere
I will not forgive you yet
Someday I might
I will not cry
I will not show emotion
Except I will laugh
And lose inside
I will not have the upper hand
It's all yours, I accept defeat
I will not cry, not yet
Someday I might
I still hold my head up
I still open my eyes
But no one can look inside
I won't let you in
I am weak, so weak
I don't want to fight
I will not go through this again
I will not get the upper hand, not yet
Not ever
I will not wake alone
To my fiftieth year
I will not accept defeat again
I will not even try
I will not end it tonight, not yet
Someday I might.