My little bro Charlie is a crank head and I am heart broken. I loved this kid like my own brother, like a best friend, closer than kin. I am literally heart broken. When someone told me what he's on right now my heart just literally smashed into a million and one pieces, and I just want to cry. It makes me feel depressed . It's despicable. I remember what happened to my sister, and I am more emotionally attached to Charlie than my sister, it's true. He's like my beautiful little blond ...

So in the midst of smoking a oney the horrid fear swept into my vulnerable mind that I'd pretty much "turned into" my ex boyfriend, you know, picking up his bad habits and good habits and pretty much doing with myself what he did, and i was like shit no! And then I began to look about me freakishly and realized, WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING! I mean, seriously, I haven't at all. As I look around my room, I realize with a pleased smile that I haven't turned into anyone at all, not anyone but...

I just got back to Morris from fall break. It was a good weekend home, except my room smells like burned hair even though I didn't burn mine this time. its coming from outside I got stoned like HELL this weekend, specially last night before Mandi's car DIED and we had to walk in very cool weather at night stoned as hell and avoid all cars but her boyfriend's. So today Mandi and I and her mom went to check out another car that I hope she gets. It's a cool car! I haven't really unp...

It's gushing time!! I don't write too many of these blogs, I suppose since I don't feel this way all too often anymore!! But here it is anyway, a description of the new boy in my life: Okay so he's in my human sexuality class and he sits in front of me. I never noticed him until probably three or four weeks ago, and the instant I glimpsed him, I thought to myself, I can see myself getting a crush on him. Despite the fact that he isn't physically my type really at all... He's blond when ...

I am progressing. I am moving through past hurts slowly, but I am still moving, and progressing, and accomplishing. I have finally gotten some real closure with the BIG issue in my heart and mind, the thing that took up most of my thoughts, the thing that most affected me. I'm finally able to love again, finally able to date again, finally AVAILABLE, really truly available. I'm finally able to say "enough is enough" and that I won't be there for him again. I won't let myself be hu...

So I'm feeling pretty lucky. I'm about out of pot, and yet I have some friends that want to smoke with me often, and don't mind that I don't have it (of course I've smoked my pot with them, no problem). And also my friend Kris shares cigarettes with me, like all the time, so when I get my moolah I'm going to reward her with a new pack!!! MONEY! And it's coming so soon, I can barely contain myself. I AM COMING INTO A LARGE SUM OF MONEY IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE!!! It's like a fortune from...

If I'm not in love with you, what is this I'm going through? Lyrics by Faith Hill. I hate Faith Hill, and only discovered this song cause I won the CD for Post Prom one year, and decided I'd see if I found ANY songs I like before I threw it away. And then I discovered that song. And that's how I feel right now. I mean, I don't need anyone to tell me I'm not in love with Philip, I already know I have loved him for quite a while. I But I suppose I'm IN love with him again. Or I didn't ...

Haha. My mom is a crazy lady. Well, okay, so she isn't, but I tell ya. Sometimes she asks me these questions, and it just totally throws me for a loop!!! I mean, really. Why does she ask these questions? It's like she's reading my mind... a part of my mind I don't want to go into. So I was sitting on the couch yesterday afternoon watching Ice Age (so cute!!!!!!) and my mom yelled from the other room, "So, did Philip become your boyfriend again last night?" And me, I just sat there like ...

I never imagined things going this way It's hard to believe I'm even here today Where we're going, none of us knows We can't even guess what the future holds I can't pretend to know what you're asking for How do I know if I know you anymore? I'm not sure what I want or how I feel Sometimes I can't tell if it's a dream or it's real I know I'm afraid as there's a reason to be You still haven't said what you want of me Your words might fall empty in spite of your heart I'll try th...

I hate my sister. I could scream it at the top of my lungs from every building in the world. Fuck that, in the universe. She is a psychotic bitch, neither of those being the least of an exaggeration. Actually in all reality it's probably an understatement. She lives in a fantasy world where shes the fucking queen bee beautiful wonderful person that deserves everything and should be trusted at all times, and when you say no she flips out. This is all behavior from a 22 year old, whom...