Here I am again... Guess what I'm thinking about.
The man. He is amazing. Like, a neverending inspiration to me. I want to see him again. If I do see him again, there are a million things I want to say to him. First of all I will probably have to say that I probably sound crazy, or something, but I don't care I feel so good. And then I'm going to tell him I've had the best last however many days it's been since I saw him last. And that I can't seem to concentrate on anything, my God, I've been listening to love music probably until everyone around me spontaneously combusted, and The Cure has never been more amazing, Just Like Heaven. Oh Lordy, I haven't been so beautiful in ages. I haven't smiled, or cried so much. And it's all tears of happiness. Well, maybe ecstacy is more like it. Not orgasmic, I can't achieve that alone, it's just... every time I think about it, him, me, I want to thank God more times than I have time to. I mean, it feels so good I could thank him every second for the rest of my life. But I want to spend that time with "him." The man. If I never see him again? Well then GOD HAD BETTER HAVE A BETTER MAN FOR ME. I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to think about him touching another girl, ever again. If I have my way, he won't. And I don't ever want another guy to ever look at me, think of me, anything. I would lock myself in a little room, so that no one but him could ever lay eyes on me. I don't want another's eyes to look at me, not after his. Which is WEIRD for me. I usually like all the attention I get. I like guys to like me. I like to play the field, get who I want whenever. No no not anymore. I don't ever want to SEE another guy again. Besides him. And that would be better than fine, it would be perfect. I don't care who else is out there. I really don't, none of them matter. Who could make me feel like this? I've never wanted to lock myself in a room and give only one person the key before, and it's strange now that I do want to. No one has ever made me want to do this, and I think I should hold on tightly if someone does. Maybe I am just crazy. Well whatever it is I feel great. Like it's the first I've ever breathed. The first air in my lungs, the first time i've ever smoked weed. My first high. No no much much better than that!! So much better. Like finding God in everything around me. I HAVE found God, in love. But "he's" in everything around me. He's in me, and I want him to always be, and I want to be in him. And I want him everywhere, all the time, not just sexually but emotionally. Wow who is this girl typing? Who has taken over my mind and soul and changed me completely? Him. HIM HIM HIM! I want to scream his name at the top of my lungs. No... I just want him to touch me, hold me, see me, kiss me. That's all, THAT'S EVERYTHING!!!
AMEN! THANK YOU GOD FOR GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO FEEL SO GOOD!