I met the guy of my dreams. I want to cry just thinking of his face, and thinking about how much too much credit I'm putting into this. It's honestly a bit obsessive and ridiculous. There's no way he could have been as affected as me. He couldn't have prayed to meet someone so much like himself, like I prayed to meet someone so much like MYself. He couldn't have felt like giving up, like I did. He couldn't have meant those things he said to me... People at parties never mean it. (He only had two beers. I had seven and was only buzzing. Maybe he meant it... Or changed his mind...) I wish with all my heart that I had never met him. No one even KNOWS. Well, sure they do. Rae does, she's seen him. He's beautiful and perfect and so right that it must have meant NOTHING to him. It was so right that there has to be a catch. But to think someone as beautiful as him would even spend time talking to me. As soon as he tried getting girls to vouch for him, I decided that as gorgeous as he was, it was just a random momentary conversation. (It's happened a lot, i've talked for a moment to hotties at parties, then they're gone, I don't even get my hopes up. I didn't this time. I didn't want to. He was so cute.) I never could have wished for him to kiss me. Stupid stupid stupid... I shouldn't think of him, as perfect as he is, not this much, without knowing what he thinks of me. Huh, like I'll ever see him again. Funny thing is, though, I looked in the mirror tonight, and it was the first time I'd seen myself as beautiful in a long time. (I looked at my face, trying to see what it was he saw in me, and I was beautiful. I haven't felt that way in so long... Just beautiful, simply beautiful.) Why do I have to be so naive, yet so doubtful? In a perfect world, he would carry true to his every word. But in this world, I shouldn't dream of him so. But he was amazing. Utterly amazing. Beautiful. Oh GOD, just let me forget him! Something so right can never be, and I KNOW!!!! Trust me, I've learned.