(sorry if I'm bothering you by following your current blog thread, but I'm genuinely intrigued by your articles)

The statement "love will find you when you're not looking" isn't exactly meant how you're taking it. It's not meant to say that when you don't need love, when you don't need someone else, that that is the point they'll appear. What the comment generally is aimed for is that right now, you're trying very hard at this, possibly too hard and that is causing you more grief than you'd normally experience from being single... and that once you relax a bit, stop actively working at it, that it's at that point that things will turn around.

My very limited number of relationships all came at times and from directions that I was not expecting. I wasn't out there actively searching for someone, I wasn't trying to find a girlfriend at the time. It was at these points, where I still needed and wanted someone to love me and to love, that someone appeared. The reason I think it seems to work this way is because we're often so driven to find the perfect someone, to go out and find Mr./Ms. Right, that we overlook a possibility, that what we're looking for was right under our nose, but we were working so hard at it, that we missed the obvious.

This isn't to say that when you're not looking that it'll be any easier, or it'll happen any quicker. You can't just say one day "Ok, I'm done actively looking!" and then expect Prince Charming to appear the next morning with the newspaper, but when you're not driving yourself nuts over it, time will pass quicker and easier than it does now. I don't think time has progressed slower for me than when I was crushing on some girl and trying to figure out what to do. I've been single since last May, I've had a few brief things with 2 or 3 girls, but nothing serious or lasting longer than a week or so, but in that time period I wasn't trying, wasn't looking and time flew by much faster than the previous summer where I was driving myself nuts over being alone. Even now, I'm still single, I still get to watch my friends go off with their boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives and do their romantic things... and while it does bother me to an extent that I can't do the same with someone else, I'm not beating myself up over it, I'm not letting it drag me down anymore.

Having someone who shares your feelings, someone to do romantic things for you, someone to spend your nights curled up with is something everyone wants, just make sure it's with the right person, don't rush to something because you feel like it's your only shot or something like that.

Oh, and always remember, there are probably many people you know who measure their time between dates in years, rather than months.

1 is the loneliest number...

dont worry... in spite of my prophecies of being happy blah blah blah... i know exactly how you feel... to bad you dont live here... then we could hook up

Oh dear me, don't get mistaken in thinking I'm actively selling myself for a date! I'm not doing anything in any way. I mean I'm not trying. Unless wishing counts... This article is more like a journal entry where I state my thoughts but not necessarily actions... I'm really not trying, or at least I don't think I am. I don't know how to try to get a date, in all honesty. And I haven't been on too many either. Random hook ups, yes, boyfriends, yes, but probably let's see... two or three real dates. Relationships to be have been consecutive disappointments, and that's about it. There have been a few good ones, and there has been love (yes, friends, I am capable of love, and when I fall I'm about one of the most devoted people you'll meet). It's just... I seldom fall, and I'm indecisive until I do fall. In fact, the few people I have loved are in the same small circle, and I've known them all for years--from 9th grade on, 5 years I guess--and they're musicians, and probably not the best people to have loved but I loved them all the same, and I would guess they've loved me too. In their way. And since I have known them for so long I knew that they loved me, not by their words, but by their actions and faces. Jesus what was I saying? Oh yeah. I don't know how to try to get a boyfriend. I've never actually tried, and I'm not trying now, just merely complaining.
And Muggaz, yeah, Australia is quite a ways from cold Minnesota. Peace out people, keep the faith, and I'll try too. I'm flattered that you read my stuff.
Much love

I'm just curious, how old are you? I've been following your posts but can't pinpoint your age.

~Dan

Eh, this might not be the thing you're looking foward to reading..(It usually is)..
And yes, I'm sick of hearing it myself, I'm told it alot..BUT neverless, it's truth.

You must be happy yourself. You must be content with yourself. If you're not, no one else will be. And that means satisfying your own needs. Looking to someone else for that is very very much a let down..because you won't find it. And if you do? It's temporary..and heartbreaking in the long run.

Of course, feel free to ignore the whole thing. LOL It's one of those life lessons people only really learn for themselves..but I hope it gets you thinking on the right track.