When Will I Be Loved?

Never??

Published on January 17, 2004 By Tangled Wishes In Blogging

Ok, I think I'm pretty cute.
But I don't understand. I do not know one guy who is even kind of interested in me. Not a soul!! With the exception of Ben Uno, not a single male here in Morris has ever even looked at me twice. And I'm cute!! But maybe I'm not?? Because uglier people are getting boyfriends... And girlfriends... And where am I in this? On the sidelines! Watching! Not even getting ANY offers! And I'm sweet. I smile. I'm friendly. I talk to people. But still nothing. What the hell am I supposed to think?? It's a blow to the ego. There is not one good reason why no one is even interested in me, unless I really am fat and ugly without knowing it. And I SHOULD know this!!
I'm just so scared. What if I have to spend the rest of my life alone??? I can't handle it! I can hardly make it a day by myself. I want to fall in love. I want someone to sweep me off my feet. I want roses for once in my life. I want kisses, and holding hands, and phone calls, and meals together. And sex. I want sex! Jesus christ, how often is it that a cute girl wants sex??? I want it a lot! And I'm good! I know I am!! But still, nothing. Nothing at all.
Do I have to sell my soul??
I'm breaking. I've been broken before. But now... There's nothing. Just the emptiness of my lonely heart. And I'm a happy cheery person! Jesus fucking christ I cannot take this disgust in me that all males have! I FUCKING CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! I KNOW THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! I know this. But there must be. And I can't take it any more. I can't be a fucking old maid. It's not me. I feel like I am going to collapse. Need to drink. Need to drink. Need to drink. WHY!
There is no why, only pain. Loneliness. FUCK YOU MEN! FUCK YOU ALL! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTIC! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! WHY!

Comments (Page 1)

Lunaticus Minimus

on Jan 17, 2004

Whoa, settle down there, fiesty philly.

First of all, you don't want to attract the type of Guy who's looking just for sex. He'll hurt you the second he gets the chance..
Second, it's all about you. Maybe you just don't recognize flirting?

And if that's not it, presentation..Be yourself..to hell with smiling and being sweet..be real. That's more attractive..
As for the fat and ugly comment, I doubt that's true..and even if you were a horrible looking troll, trolls need lovin too..and usually get it.
There is ALWAYS someone out there for someone else..it just takes time and patience. LOL Doesn't that suck?
And be honest. If you're interested in someone, steel yourself and talk to them..Don't expect miracles, don't get your hopes up too high..be real about it..but you gotta have faith. Give it time, you'll eventually ask the right person.

And I hate the myth that girls have to wait for guys to ask them out.. I hate that with a passion. I'm much more into a woman who's got the nerve to ask me out.

Draginol

on Jan 17, 2004

Often times you find the right person when your least expecting it. That is how I found my own wife -- when I was least looking for it.

GemCityJoe

on Jan 17, 2004

Step #1 Clean up your language, its awful! GCJ

Machiavelli_incorporated

on Jan 18, 2004

lol, id have to agree with Luna. And one more thing, how old r u exactly?

Muggaz

on Jan 18, 2004

Lol... maybe you are too hot and intimidate all those bad boys???

Brad is totally 100% right.

The best way to look at it is this -

You aren't searching for anyone, becasue you are comfortable with yourself, because you are #1 and obviously pretty hot. Someone is searching for you... so you needn't worry about a thing and go along your merry little way... the most important thing is to have fun... because this person that is searching for you, he dont like saddy sacks, he wants a happy girl who is comfortable with who she is

Draginol

on Jan 18, 2004

I'd guess that she's about 18-20 years old. Reaching that time of life of great changes and great uncertainty.

EFalgui

on Jan 18, 2004

Relax, take it easy, maybe men over there are just overly shy... or maybe they are just fucking idiots, i dont know. anyway i definitely agree with luna. another thing i think you would have more luck if you didnt use such colorful language. How old are you anyway?

Lunaticus Minimus

on Jan 18, 2004

I do agree with Brad, things get you when you least expect it..but nor does that mean being a perpetual wallflower or hiding in a basement..
Just..be.

And Muggaz is right as well. We are attracted to happy people..Sometimes it is because we seek that in others and hope they can give it to us..
Or that a happy person doesn't need 'us' to fullfill them..and a happy person doesn't need YOU to make them complete..

The only kind of people who are attracted to miserable and depressed people are usually the same way..or just looking to abuse someone for their own pleasure.

Lunaticus Minimus

on Jan 18, 2004

People agreeing with lil ol me? *blush* =

Tangled Wishes

on Jan 19, 2004

I just sometimes wonder what I'm doing wrong. What AM I doing wrong? I think nothing, but then sometimes it's like, God it has to be me. Y'all should read my most recent post, I think it explains things better. I hope men aren't FUCKING IDIOTS. That would change a lot of things for me.

poisonpen

on Jan 19, 2004

Here's some advice from an older woman; at 36 I'm presuming I'm older than you and no condescension intended ok?

Find something to do!!!
Engross yourself in something, feel passionate about something other than trying to find a boyfriend. You are feeling desperate right now and I understand the frustration but that desperation shows in your body language and in everything you do. People pick up on it and will avoid getting involved. You need to find an outlet for your emotion. Get busy. What do you love? What have you always wanted to do?
Learn an instrument, learn a language, get fit, start painting, read more books, it doesn't matter what, just do it. Make it your mission to be distracted by something else. And who knows, you may meet a great guy while you're at it!

Male/female relationships are notoriously difficult at times no matter what age you are and you will have many disappointments on your journey through life, but don't become bitter. Bitterness is worse than desperation.
It will work out fine. You'll see.

Tangled Wishes

on Jan 19, 2004

Sorry guys! I just get so frustrated sometimes. I don't know...

Tangled Wishes

on Jan 19, 2004

Listen, I am busy. I hang out with friends all the fricking time. I do homework all the fricking time. I go bowling, to games, all that stuff. I sing. I'm fucking busy. Don't think I'm not. I am distracted. It's hard when you're surrounded by couples, huh? Whatever.

Dan Kaschel

on Jan 19, 2004

Anne...I very much agree with you... but from a guy point of view. I keep thinking... I'm not ugly, I'm smart I'm talented and God knows there's a million horrible guys out there with girlfriends... what the heck am I doing wrong?

I dunno but I empathize and I'm really sorry, I don't think anyone should have to feel this way. The only thing I can think of is that maybe when you're a special person, people don't think of you 'that way' because you intimidate them by how admirable you are.

Sheesh I dunno. I wish you better luck than I have.

~Dan

Lunaticus Minimus

on Jan 20, 2004

Also, look at it this way.. People aren't looking at you and thinking, "What's wrong with her?!"..they're busy thinking "what's wrong with me?!!!"..
Just as you are. We're all too busy obsessing over ourselves, we don't have time to worry about the next person, dating wise..
So be the one who stops asking what's wrong with yourself and find someone special and maybe convince them there is nothing wrong with them, you might be glad you did.

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