This is Anne... Complete and Real
(I am In Hell)
Published on February 20, 2004 By Tangled Wishes In Blogging
Welcome all to my week of hell...

I have three tests this week (two down one to go) and had to lead class discussion in Lit. It is hard to study when you have three separate tests to study for, damn it!!! I guess it's something like finals, plus the lesson plan, and having to go to every damn class!!!

If I didn't have any classes this week, just tests, it would be okay!!!

But I am wiped out, and I think I have asthma. At least, I keep wheezing, because it feels like the area between my throat and chest is constricting, and it's hard to breathe, and then I let out a funny TB cough. Well not that TB is funny, it just sounds funny is all.

I did a funny thing today, too. I sit by "the boy" every day in lit, and today, we were just casually talking, whatever, and I think I must have melted my brain, or frozen a part, or something, for a moment, because I went absolutely crazy and just out of nowhere blurted out "You don't like me do you" and he was just like, what? I didn't say it all whiny or waa waa waa or mean or anything, almost jokingly, but then I went on like, "I see you all the time, and you constantly look away, don't acknowledge me at all, like you're embarrassed or something!" Then he was pretty shocked, and said "what! I never do that!" And then I listed places he usually does that, like on the way to food service, and mentioned that while his best friend lives about three doors from my dorm, he NEVER says hi to me, he never even LOOKS at me. Then he was kinda red, but I think that's probably because he was having a panic attack (perfect time for me to lay on that "you don't like me" schpiel not). And we went back to having to do stupid lit shit, but he must have been thinking about it, which is funny to me now that I'm not interested in him like that, because after about 20 minutes, he looks at me and says, "I remember one time I was walking to food service, and you were walking back, or something, or something like that, I don't remember, but you were with all of your friends like Emily and I could have said hi to any of them but I DIDN'T! I specifically said hi to you!" And then I laughed and said, "so, you DO like me!" And he laughed kind of shocked like, i tend to shock people, and said yeah I do then we had to do some other class shit.

But it was funny. Ironic, you know, that he should be more talkative and whatever when I don't like him any longer!!! Boys, I tell ya. Try living with them, end up without them. Try living without them, they want you with them. J/K don't think he wants me, its just funny.

~Anne

Comments
on Feb 20, 2004
Things never turn out to be what you want...
If I may say something about your french title "Je Suis L'enfer" mean I am hell and "Je suis en enfer" means (I am In Hell). I'm not sure which meaning you would choose as, both could be use.
on Feb 20, 2004
Thanks, it was something I learned in 9th grade french. So firstly, I wouldn't remember it well, and secondly, my teacher was an idiot. I think I like I am Hell
on Feb 20, 2004
So it's OK,
Sorry I didn't want to bother you with french grammar but it was funny
on Feb 22, 2004
You seem extremely honest, but could it be taken as brash? Try to imagine yourself as an Audrey Hepburn or a Grace Kelly--it will do wonders even with seemingly crude boys today.