I know pretty much everyone out there has broken up.

It sucks.

And I don't ever want to do it again! At least, not those terrible, bitter ones, where you spend about three days crying, then the next month remembering them EVERY TIME you hear a song on the radio, and then the next month wondering why you guys can't be friends, like you both promised, then the next month TRYING to be friends, and then however long it takes you to realize things are never going to be the same again with the two of you, and you can never have as much fun together as you used to.

I hate those breakups.

I hate having to say goodbye, watching them cry, crying yourself, wondering why you just can't make yourself want to be with him, or why you can't make him want to be with you, or what the hell is wrong with the two of you.

I also hate losing their friends. It's like, you've spend the last six or seven months becoming BEST friends with THEIR best friends, and then when you break up, you can never talk to or see those new best friends of yours again. You get to know them and love them so much, and then it's all wrong for you to call them now, or want to hang out with them, and do all the funny and fucked up things you guys used to do before.

And I hate not being able to hang out with their families anymore, their hilarious dad who always makes you feel like he's probably just a little crazy, but he loves you anyway. And I hate it when their mom just doesn't understand why you've broken up, you guys seemed so happy, you're such a nice, sweet girl!

I hate the sudden dramatic reduction of sex. It goes from practically every day, to practically never. You have to go out there, meet and charm new people, convince them you're good enough to have sex with, and then you have to think about all those damn risks, and what they're like in bed, and even if they're a good kisser!!! It sucks having to kiss someone new after you've become so accustomed to someone else's lips. Of course, if you're a clever girl, you make lots of contacts with your ex's dateable friends, and remember every one of them that seemed to look at you in that funny way, the one where you can tell they're wondering what you look like naked, and what it would be like if THEY were dating you... You remember those ones, and call them as soon as you get desperate. Sure it's not proper etiquette, but it's booty with someone you don't have to try to impress!

It also sucks that you can't call that ex up any time you want to call, or just hear their voice. You always have to have an excuse, like, oh, is there any way you could get a hold of some beer for me? Or, do you still have that CD of mine? Or, I have some of your clothes, do you want them back? Or, can we re-exchange necklaces? Or class rings, or whatever you traded to represent your love? Something that also gives you that excuse to see them again. Of course, sometimes I get really mad, and they will call ME back, looking for that necklace, and I have to say that I don't know where I put it, because a few days back, I got pissed off and threw it into the lake... I've done that once or twice...

It sucks not having something to do every week night, weekend, weekday, week, month, whatever. Your social calendar is pretty much down the drain, until you can convince your friends that you're sorry for having ditched them for so long, and that they should go man hunting with you again, or that you'll try your best to not be a miserable third wheel with her and her boyfriend, and maybe he has a friend he could hook you up with?

Breaking up sucks, damn it!

And sometimes you never forget those countless nights you cried yourself to sleep after he dumped you, and broke your heart. Or sometimes you see a picture of him, in the bottom of one of your boxes, and you remember the reason why you cared about him, and even WORSE, the reason why you stopped caring, or even worse than THAT, why you were FORCED to stop caring.

Bah! This makes me not want to date! Especially since I fuckin missed the first FIVE MINUTES OF FAMILY GUY!! AHHH!