Ok I better explain myself quick. I don't hate happy people. Au contraire!! I suppose I like them rather well... I just don't like couples. Wait, that isn't so much true, either.
There's this one couple... This guy and this girl. And I can't stand them.
She's a pretty thing, all peppy and happy and nice and funny and just a little bit dumb, but in a cute way. He's a jerk. He says stupid, careless, asshole things, and really doesn't deserve his friends. He's big, she's not. She's nice, he's not. I hate seeing them together! I hate seeing them hug, hearing them suck each other's tongues, and I hate hanging out with them.
Why do I hate them so much? Is it that I really can't take PDA? Yet, calling that merely "public displays of affection" is like calling sex "cuddling." Haha. No, seriously. It's like, they're afraid to go 35 seconds without touching each other, for fear of explosion or something. And then there's all those cutesy "I love you!" "I love you!" "I love you!"'s. Damn them!!! I mean, they really make me want to hack my head off with a jigsaw. No, a toothbrush. Well, I would, if I didn't ever have to deal with them!
And don't get me wrong. I like both of them, when they're not around each other. She is a tad annoying, and he is a tad insensitive in a fakey, I-Must-Be-Macho-Because-Men-Are-Supposed-To-Be-And-For-No-Other-Reason, but I genuinely don't mind hanging out with them on their own. She doesn't obsessively talk about him, and he occasionally thinks about something other than pussy.
HUZZAH! Another annoyance. She's a hypocrite. She masquerades as a pristine, pure, innocent Christian, who has never kissed a boy, never said a swear word, and definitely NEVER seen a male's penis!! What would it look like?! What would she DO with it? Well, I can tell you exactly what she would do. She would suck it, just like she's done in the past. Hey, listen, I'm no more pure than anyone else, but dear me, I don't go around acting all goody-goody, because it would bite me in the ASS if I did! And besides, it's just damned pointless. Why pretend you're something you're not?
And it's not like she's SUDDENLY become all Christian. She hasn't--she's always pretended to be a very good honest, non-dick-sucking girl, or at least so I've been told. I can understand if people do wild things, and then want to be forgiven for it, and go to the Lord to repent and all that. But she does all her bad things between bible study and mass. Well okay I'm exaggerating, I'm not sure WHEN she does it, and I don't care to know, but I'm just painting a picture for y'all.
I mean, doesn't it seem WRONG to people that these people out here are all masquerading to be some pure, angelic thing, when they're really rotted inside? Doesn't it bother anyone else? It bothers me! And at least I have the audacity to ADMIT that I'm rotten through and through. I don't pretend to be innocent.
At least I'm real, right??
Sorry for being so annoyed, but jeez! I don't understand some people's motives, damn it.