This is Anne... Complete and Real
Published on April 7, 2004 By Tangled Wishes In Current Events
So I've spent this entire day trying to find a way to just escape from the grief. I took a successful nap, but I just can't nap all day and night. I would wake up around 2 am and not be able to fall back asleep and then I'd be in an even worse conundrum than I already am in.

I tried watching tv, and found myself flipping through the news, and there he was, staring back at me. Poor Moy. On two news channels. I just lay in my bed and bawled my little eyes out. My sweatshirt sleeves are still damp, and it's been a half hour. There were people I knew on TV, talking about Moy, and Matt, and it was just so fucking insane. That's what it is.

It's a fucking tragedy.

I found I couldn't really watch TV after my cry-fest, so after about fifteen minutes of channel-surfing, I turned it off. So here I am sitting at the computer, listening to music and having a major headache.

I can't do anything. I can't sleep. I can't watch TV. There's no one to talk to right now, and anyhow how easy is it to talk to someone who's just had a dear friend and classmate killed in a "war" that shouldn't even be happening? What are you supposed to say besides "I'm sorry"? And I don't want to put anyone through that.

So I want to go home. I know it's a four hour drive and I wouldn't get there until eleven, and besides I'm not going to anyway because I have to talk to my teachers tomorrow and explain to them why I won't be able to turn in my paper or take my test on time next week... And how hard is THAT going to be. I mean, I know it's hard dealing with ONE person who's died overseas, but how can you explain that it's been TWO people now, in less than a month, and it's fucking killing your entire town?? Seriously. I come from a town of 1500. My class had about 50 or so kids in it. Two less now, in A MONTH.

How do you explain that to a professor? And does a professor even have to let you turn in the paper late, or take the test at a different date? No, they don't. And I'll be lucky if they do, but I'm not fucking missing Moy's funeral for a fucking TEST. I wouldn't miss it for anything.

No one knows here. I mean, my closest friends know Moy died, and Matt died. But there are what, 2000 more students walking around this town, seeing me, not knowing a God damn thing. Not knowing one of the biggest things in the lives of 1500 people. When they see Moy on the news, they see just one more dead Marine, and the picture of his buddy who died less than a month before him. It's just a boy, sad as it may be, but they don't know him.

They don't know he was one of the smartest guys in his grade. They don't know that he was shy and sweet, but funny and silly, and drew awesome comics. They don't know his best friends, or his family, or everyone that will be and are affected by his death. They don't know how impossible it is to deal with two deaths so near each other. They don't know what it means. They couldn't possibly know. They don't know what it's like getting that phone call, to hear their mother bawling because yet another classmate was killed because of the war in Iraq. They didn't have to call their best friends, and tell them the news. Hear their best friend SCREAMING.

And the only people that know these things, they're four hours away from me and I've got no one to comfort me. It's just me, myself and I, alone until tomorrow night.

And I'm going to cry here in my room off and on for the next twenty four hours, and other people might hear me, and even see me, and I don't care. Let them hear me. It's a damn tragedy!!!

And yet, it was as though I already knew. It was as though we all already knew. Out of the what, twelve? Marines that died in Iraq in the past few days, we knew that one of them was Moy. Rachel knew as soon as I said "You don't know."

And she was screaming. "What! Don't know WHAT, ANNE! TELL ME! WHAT!!" She knew!! Jessica knew. We all knew. We just didn't want to. Out of twelve Marines, what's the likelihood that one of them would be the second dead Marine from Moose Lake? From Hodunk Minnesota? But I knew.

It's not easy telling people that your classmate and friend has died. It's something no one should do.

And Jesus CHRIST we fucking PROMISED that our next class reunion wouldn't be a fucking funeral! We fucking PROMISED. And yet, in a few days, we'll all gather in a church again, tears down our cheeks, and attend another funeral. Another dead classmate.

Another dead friend.

And please, keep your personal attacks to yourselves. I really don't need to hear that.

~Anne

Comments
on Apr 07, 2004
I'm sorry. I'll be praying for you.

~Dan
on Apr 07, 2004
Thank you Dan. That comforts me.

~Anne
on Apr 07, 2004
I'm so sorry, Anne. I don't pray to a god, but I will be meditating on you and thinking about you...I'll try and send some good and some healing thoughts and karma your way.

I know that nothing I say, or anyone else says, is going to make you pain any less or any easier to bear. I wish that it could, that it would. I wish I could shoulder some of it for you. All I can do is tell you that I'm here for you if you need me. My email address is dharmagrl69@yahoo.com. Use it if you want/need to.

In the meantime, I'll leave you this poem..

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

(1) I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

(2) When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.


Namste, Anne.

(It means 'peace')



on Apr 07, 2004
There are no words, really, for times like these, but know that I'm praying for you too. Our God will comfort you... He'll never leave you... He uses the fucking awful times to draw us closer to Him. If ya ever wanna talk, I'm here.

Sarah
onehundredsmilesanhour@hotmail.com (addy and msn messenger)
on Apr 08, 2004
Because it was a debate instead of the comfort she needed, Marvin. Dharma- poem... happiness:)

~Dan
on Apr 08, 2004
Anne~I'm so sorry for your recent loss and great pain. No words I can say will ever make this any easier for you. I only hope it helps you to know that I am thinking about you (as are all these other JU folks), and wishing you comfort and strength during this terrible time. I love how you write so much. I love your poetry. This blog is very beautiful~even though it was inspired by a very painful event. I hope writing it helped you a little? And I hope the kind words of everyone here will bring you a little bit of peace, as you get ready to face the next few difficult days. I still remember the beautiful poem you wrote about death and war~from a little while back. That poem of yours truly puts this current war (and all others) to shame. And I hope the poem Dharmagrl shared gives you a little comfort too? Because I know poetry can really help to comfort me when I am overwhelmed by life. So I hope it might do the same for you~especially since you are such a very gifted poet yourself. Here's a poem by X. J. Kennedy that gave me some comfort when my own sister (Elizabeth) died suddenly in a horrible car wreck. She was just 31. I hope the poem comforts you a little bit too now. Please take good care. And please email me if you ever need to.

Frank
(mitchellfranklin@yahoo.com)

LITTLE ELEGY
(for a child who skipped rope)

Here lies resting, out of breath,
Out of turns, Elizabeth
Whose quicksilver toes not quite
Cleared the whirring edge of night.

Earth whose circles round us skim
Till they catch the lightest limb,
Shelter now Elizabeth
And for her sake trip up death.





on Apr 08, 2004
Thank you guys so much for sharing those poems and stories and all of that.

Thanks for being supportive, and thanks for the prayers, and everything, it is mucho appreciated.

MadPoet~you're very kind...

I'm sorry, I'm just... I don't know, lack of anything to say. Please don't think I'm being rude. I just don't know what to say anymore...

Thanks again

~Anne
on Apr 08, 2004
PS. Here's the article if anyone's interested in seeing what Moose Lake really lost.


http://www.startribune.com/stories/1762/4711265.html

Link

~Anne
on Apr 08, 2004
Anne, you don't have to say anything. We know.....we're with you, we're here for you.
on Apr 08, 2004
Oh my god, Anne I'm sorry but like everyone else I won't be able to understand your pain. This sounds really dumb and irrelevent but you asked me about Dan on my blog, it won't really matter but life goes on, its like this short story by Guy de Maupassant, Two Friends. It's really good. Anyway, where was I, Dan? Dan is cool sometimes,like you talk to him and you feel he's getting it and your connecting then the next day he's doing crazy things like, well the spiderman thing. He's fun though.

Be ok, be cool, Scarlett
on Apr 08, 2004
*confused*

~Dan
on Apr 18, 2004
Anne~ I did not know your friends, but as a fellow Minnesotan, I feel the pain of losing our own. My husband taught at Barnum, and we have property in Sturgeon lake, so it all hits close to home. I am SO sorry. I will pray for you and for your friends and family. If you need someone to talk to you can email me.
jolynda_anderson@hotmail.com

God be with you,
JoLynda