I am extremely happy with every thing at this instant. I'm listening to Purple Rain by Prince which is just freaking amazing.
I am contented. There is no drama right this very moment. I'm sitting at my computer in my room, all by myself. I'm newly cleaned. My hair is still wet. My glasses aren't blurry, my lips aren't dry. My teeth are even clean. No one is fighting right at this moment. There are no guys calling me. I don't have to be emotionally attached to anything. I'm completely free and healthy. I have two awesome kinds of trail mix. Almost all the food I own right now is intensely healthy. I have money in my pocket. I'm single. I'm free.
I didn't wake up to an alarm for two days now. That is probably the best feeling in the world. I've been working out. That's probably the second best feeling in the world. I might not have any bars of soap, but I have body wash. And it smells good. It's cloudy out but dry. It's not raining, and it's not snowing. My window is open and the breeze is cool but comfortable. In a little while I'm going to do Pilates.
I have no reasons to complain. I feel so happy! It's scary to me. I don't remember when I was last happy. That doesn't make me sad, either. Not even confused. If I think about it really hard... The last time I was really happy... I think it was when Rachel and I were swimming in Sturgeon Lake at Edel Weiss. I think I was really happy then. And before that? Well, I can't remember. It was probably over a year ago from now.
I'm not worried about that though. I'm completely happy now. I have to thank both God and Zoloft, but whatever it takes!!! I mean, I'M SINGLE! AND HAPPY! And I can't hear anyone crying. I can't hear anyone fighting. I can't hear anyone complaining, bragging, anything. All of my friends are dating someone. And I'm completely happy. No swooning for me. No falling. No being afraid of not being able to get back up again this time. There's no one in my heart. And it feels really good.
~Anne.